Where will your adult child with a disability live?

In the "Life Planning" book by Greenbaum, she tell us all the reasons why parents decide to keep their children at home. The main reason is 'nobody will love your child like you do'. I agree. I know my daughter's likes and dislikes. I know that whatever she does I can accept that she is disabled and not treat her badly when she makes a mistake. I have gotten so use to taken care of her, I don't know if I could live without doing it.

The book however gives a list of Benefits for your adult child with developmental disabilities to move out. All of which I can agree with as well.

For the Family
1-improved relationship with their brother or sister with developmental disabilites with less worries for their for their future.
2-less physical stress on parents
3- more time and energy for their other children (and grandchildren)
4-less worry about what would happen when the parents die
5-devoting time to them selves and improving their own quality of life

For the adult with disabilites
1-opportunities for socializing
2-chance to learn new things
3-improve indenpendance
4-participate in more activities

Greenbaum points out that when the adult child moves out, the parents don't give up all claim to the child. They can visit and spend holiday's just like the any other children and the parents will still be able to advocate for him or her when necessary.

After the decision is made, the actual moving out may take months or years. There are many things that need to happen and be put in place before the move can actually take place. According to Special Education Law, school districts must have in place a trasition plan that includes planning for life after graduation. The school is responsible to start transition at age sixteen up to the age twenty one. This is a good time to think about making the transition to a new home, with in a couple of years graduation from high school.

The adult child should be involved in the decision making processes as much as possible. If they are unsure or scared to do it, then becoming involved with organizations that allow interaction between adults with disabilites should be attempted.

It is important that you as the parent understands how much care the adult with developmental disabilites actually needs. From 24/7/365 to a few hours of guidance daily, weekly or monthly. Look at what abilities the adult has, how much can they do for themselves?  

Print off the Activities of Daily Living Skills (ADLs) Check list to get a better understanding of what is actually needed.

Putting Children First!